|
[12 Apr 2009|11:23am] |
Getting close to 5 years now. Damn near a quarter of my life, from naive l33t k1dd13 to naive romantic to naive emo to slightly less naive...what am I, now? Too little retrospection and you're doomed to unconsciously repeat your mistakes. Too much retrospection, and you're doomed to reliving them.
I don't know why I still post on here. There's a grand total of maybe five people who still read this, all of who I don't see anymore; all of you who are from a practical standpoint mere acquaintance. This site used to be a crossroads of love, hate, and time killed. Old entries bear the textual vestige of what once was, unlocking floodgates of reminiscence and memories faded by what happened after. Let us be perfectly frank - the height of all this was steeped in nascent teenage bullshit.
Time to leave and live in the moment.
|
|
|
[05 Apr 2009|04:53pm] |
|
I want to snowboard for some strange reason O_o
|
|
|
[22 Mar 2009|10:41pm] |
|
Smoking weed makes you a better person. Why doesn't anyone get this?
|
|
|
[16 Mar 2009|06:34am] |
Looking for a driver to a rave on the 11th. Admission, gas, and (if you play your cards right) oral sex included.
Also, I passed a pre-employment drug test. What. The. Hell.
|
|
|
[16 Mar 2009|01:52am] |
"Moral philosophy, or the science of human nature, may be treated after two different manners; each of which has its peculiar merit, and may contribute to the entertainment, instruction, and reformation of mankind. The one considers man chiefly as born for action; and as influenced in his measures by taste and sentiment; pursuing one object, and avoiding another, according to the value which these objects seem to possess, and according to the light in which they present themselves. As virtue, of all objects, is allowed to be the most valuable, this species of philosophers paint her in the most amiable colours; borrowing all helps from poetry and eloquence, and treating their subject in an easy and obvious manner, and such as is best fitted to please the imagination, and engage the affections. They select the most striking observations and instances from common life; place opposite characters in a proper contrast; and alluring us into the paths of virtue by the views of glory and happiness, direct our steps in these paths by the soundest precepts and most illustrious examples. They make us feel the difference between vice and virtue; they excite and regulate our sentiments; and so they can but bend our hearts to the love of probity and true honour, they think, that they have fully attained the end of all their labours.
The other species of philosophers considers man in the light of a reasonable rather than an active being, and endeavours to form his understanding more than cultivate his manners. They regard human nature as a subject of speculation; and with a narrow scrutiny examine it, in order to find those principles, which regulate our understanding, excite our sentiments, and make us approve or blame any particular object, action, or behaviour. They think it a reproach to all literature, that philosophy should not yet have fixed, beyond controversy, the foundation of morals, reasoning, and criticism; and should for ever talk of truth and falsehood, vice and virtue, beauty and deformity, without being able to determine the source of these distinctions. While they attempt this arduous task, they are deterred by no difficulties; but proceeding from particular instances to general principles, they still push on their enquiries to principles more general, and rest not satisfied till they arrive at those original principles, by which, in every science, all human curiosity must be bounded. Though their speculations seem abstract, and even unintelligible to common readers, they aim at the approbation of the learned and the wise; and think themselves sufficiently compensated for the labour of their whole lives, if they can discover some hidden truths, which may contribute to the instruction of posterity."
-Hume, An Enquiry Concerning Human Understanding
Is that not delicious?
|
|
|
[28 Feb 2009|02:37am] |
looking over my shoulder
to still still images, still fantasies
'cos my path moves too fast, too fast
i can't keep the track
by the time i reach a dream it's gone
lost to impersonal winds that say
"too bad, too bad"
so i look back for certainty
to a misty dream i never took
just wanted something to hold onto
something to ground me from the gale
a little reminder of where i had tread
so i can look forward and face the change
|
|
|
[23 Feb 2009|04:27pm] |
Dear LJ:
I got e-gonorrhea. You should all get yourselves checked out.
Love,
Me
|
|
|
[06 Feb 2009|12:51am] |
Written in part because of what Cor wrote, and partly due to a decent amount of conversations I've had recently.
The transition to my current mindset about the World seems to me to have the same sort of feeling people get when they say they've been enlightened or awoken, that what's been in front of you for all your life appears as though you're seeing it for the first time. I think people tend to become accustomed to ideas and things such that when their lose their novelty, they lose their meaning. I used to think that Everything was a random assortment of material and consciousness with no inherent meaning and in a way I still do. Those beliefs are still held, but with a direction that entirely changed their connotation.
There is no God. Actually, there may be, but to believe in him is logically absurd. His role in theology is twofold : to instill a sense of order in the universe, and to explain the reason for Being. For both points, though, I think it's just as likely that Being and order exist on their own accord. When looking for a why in this matter, one tends to ask to infinite "Well, who created that?" Yet saying that Being is on its own seems slightly more plausible, if only because it's one creation as opposed to something created (God) creating creation.
I had a realization during a hike in Corriganville that led me to the top of a mountain overlooking the freeway pass, as well as Simi and Chatsworth up onto the horizon. Looking down at the cities and their minute details - the cars, the trees, the roads, the sky - I was overtaken by a sense of just how wonderful and exciting Everything really is. Most people would call this divinity, but I prefer the terms holy and sacred. Take a look at any object around you, and wonder just "why" it is. If you're a smartass (which I like), you'll say that your desk came from Ikea, or from trees or plastic. But past that, there exists a point where you can't really adequately answer. There's a certain mysteriousness and aura to Being, and I've come to admire that as a very beautiful thing. It's from that foundation that I came to believe in pantheism as a sound view from which to realize the world.
If we are to realize that Everything either was, is, or will be, life and existence suddenly take on a very unified feeling. What seemed to me as being completely arbitrary and random was a part of this new Unity. Everything from anger to the wonderful way the air is after a cool rain to something as mundane as taking a piss was my chance to experience an infinitesimal sliver of existence, all the more special because it was mine. Good and evil have ceased to take on their original meanings, now being ways that Being could manifest itself, smaller part of the greater whole all the more divine because it merely was.
And Life's never been the same. I am confident in the knowledge that what I do is both meaningless and meaningful. Everything is special, and every thing has a meaning that only itself can truly describe, like all the colors of the rainbow are so *exquisite* when viewed separately, but no less so when put together to make white.
|
|
|
[26 Jan 2009|04:40pm] |
I deleted my MySpace and Facebook accounts today. Probably going to do Twitter tonight. It feels extremely liberating, not to be tied down mentally by what essentially amounts down to nothing. As I said, I'll be taking a break from things for a while, so I won't be on AIM or on the Net. If you know my phone number, that's the way to get ahold of me.
See you in two weeks.
|
|
|
[25 Jan 2009|11:07pm] |
Starting a two week Internet break tomorrow.
Should be fun.
|
|
|
[22 Jan 2009|09:03pm] |
So. I wrote an entry towards the end of this month details that I had some problems that needed to be changed. It's only been a little over three weeks, but it's been three weeks of weird, eerie living. I've quit smoking aside from at parties, but it's a fair concession. I've smoked weed only once. I skateboard something like every and go for walks every night. It feels extremely different from the lifestyle I'm used to, though neither one is wholly good or bad. Like, I can go out pretty much from waking up to going out and about my day, instead of the hour or so of grogginess. Days seem much more bland and not as colored. Just days. I find myself questioning my notion of Self and the changes one can make while still being considered the same person, or if that's even possible.
It's surreal.
|
|
|
[19 Jan 2009|07:34am] |
|
Recently added to my Quotes of Fame: "Only a very small percentage of children can survive bullet wounds to the head."
|
|
|
[17 Jan 2009|12:39am] |
They're making a *government-sponsored* advocacy campaign for the legalization of weed.
Never had I had so much faith in my government :)
|
|
|
[11 Jan 2009|08:05am] |
|
hahahaha
|
|
|
[10 Jan 2009|07:53am] |
|
Be not afraid of greatness: some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon 'em.
|
|
|
[09 Jan 2009|01:21am] |
|
I have come to see a link between the rise of women, their increasing rights, involvement in politics, and the feminist movement and the increasing stupidity, perversion of culture, and all around degeneracy in the west. These irrational, pseudo-sentient life forms have done naught but sap the life out of intellectual and powerful men over the last hundred years or so, and we men have made the mistake of brainwashing ourselves to believe that these succubi are actual people. Their whole kind are nothing more than tools for procreation, unfit to live without a patron's approval. Allow me to make my case. Women are naturally cowards. I myself have met women who have admitted to me that they and their whole kind are born cowards. They are timid creatures whose emotions overpower their logic and rationality, and they are therefore unfit to lead. Their extreme emotions are triggered by slight and unimportant things, and with these worries they hinder the progress of man. Remember the last time your girlfriend got angry at you for that thing that to this day you have no idea what she was talking about? Imagine that ruling a society or a country. Imagine that fight being with another world leader. Imagine an irrational war because of the errancy of women. I'm glad Hillary lost so that America may live a few years longer. Mankind used to be male dominated, and with good reason. Women knew their place, and men kept them there. Now, let's look at the achievements in this long period of history. We have such political achievements as the republic and the democracy. We then have technological advancements such as irrigation, the hanging gardens, the printing press, electricity, factories, cars, computers, and now even the internet. We also have such historical achievements like the Neolithic Revolution, the American and French revolutions. We have the great thinkers of history, like Socrates, Aristotle, Boethius, Bacon, Marx, Nietzsche, Borh, and, of course, Einstein. Who do you think was the most intelligent person in history, who could change the way you think, whose infinite wisdom puts this person on level with the gods? He was a man, wasn't he? Back when we were a male dominated society, men did not even love women. Most of the great men of history were gay, only having wives for children. Shakespeare was gay, Da Vinci was gay [lol, bullshit], to name a few. Men can survive without women (for lack of children, granted). Take modern gay people for example. Why do you think they are so happy? With gene science as it is now, we can make humans effectively enough without women soon enough. Jesus Christ. Now, let's look at more modern times, shall we? In 1920, women gained the right to vote. Coincidentally, we have not had a good president since the nineteenth century. In 1966, we had a cultural revolution. Great and all, but that's when police and the government became the bad guys. Degeneracy ran wild and became commonly accepted as culture. Then, come 1977, the Feminist movement. That was the death knell of the west as it was formerly known. Since these cum dumpsters decided they were people too, the west has become one grand showing of Dumb and Dumber. We now have what has to be the stupidest couple of generations since the Salem witch trials. We no longer have great philosophers; we no longer have great authors. We have become a nation glued to MTV and teenNICK. Remember G4TV? That's pretty much all of America at this point. And for God's sake, just look at our teenagers. What have we done to let our youth become so terribly corrupted and utterly stupid? To quote Chuck Palahniuk, "We are a generation of men raised by women". We have indeed let ourselves be led astray by the foolish little minds of women. The fact that what I say, by modern standards, is sexist and therefore bad is further proof that we have been brainwashed. Women have convinced us that they have sufficient mental capacity to feel real emotion and can therefore be "hurt" and that we need to protect them. This is a lie. We have today naught but broken shards of society, the ghost of the greatness that humankind once was.
|
|
|
[08 Dec 2008|05:23pm] |
"Eliza," I said, "So many of the books I've read to you say that love is the most important thing of all. Maybe I should tell you that I love you now."
"Go ahead," she said.
"I love you Eliza," I said.
She thought about it. "No," she said at last, "I don't like it."
"Why not?" I said.
"It's as though you were pointing a gun to my head," she said. "It's just a way of getting someone else to say what they probably don't mean. What else can I say, or anybody say, but 'I love you, too'?"
"You don't love me?" I said
"What could anybody love about Bobby Brown?" she said.
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
|
|
|
|